tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25258404036407516902024-03-08T03:53:10.038-08:00Real Education for Life in Every FamilyReal Education for Life in Every Family
Transforming Education Through DialogueAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09502733591733271254noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525840403640751690.post-78270239162556475072018-02-24T08:31:00.001-08:002018-02-24T08:31:22.539-08:00Peace for Children –by Ms. Vidya Shankar, Founder & Chairperson Relief Foundation<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What’s really ailing children
today? Why are they defiant? Why aren’t they studying? Why aren’t they
behaving? Why aren’t they doing the right things? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been talking to children
as well. I have tried to find out from many of them what really happens in
their mind. It was a difficult proposition for me to interpret it directly.
Because the children were not able to give me the language of what really their
need was. So with all what I said I started my reading and it all landed on one
major domain. All the children were looking at peace. It surprised me because
the adults too look for peace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What is this “peace”? What do we
do to get this peace? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People may say that we are living
in a world where there is so much of chaos; we have our families; everything
happens in and out and we have no time in our hands; we have to handle the
children; we have to do the best thing for them; we have to earn for the
family. So there are so many responsibilities we have to take on and there is
very little time to sit and meditate if that is what peace means. So the idea
of peace is so contorted. The idea that peace is an exercise to be done after
our regular work is what people have in their mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What is another interpretation of
peace? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When countries or states have
conflicts and are fighting with each other, they conclude agreements and sign
treatise to end the war and bring peace. According the above statement, Peace
is absence of war. But that peace is a state of being is something that Dr.Maria
Montessori defined. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Dr. Maria Montessori said human
beings have the great ability of finding peace even amidst chaos. That is a
spiritual transcending that we are capable of. But why aren’t we getting there?
Why are we being sucked into so many problems that surround us? Shouldn’t we
address those problems? Of course we should. How do we address those problems? How
does that training come about? How do we look at a problem? How do we analyze
it? How do we decide to do the right things that will not shake our inner
peace? So inner peace being the mantra how do we touch that inner peace? We
already have peace within us. How do we touch that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The starting point of all this is
a consciousness. A consciousness of what we are currently engaged in? What we
currently think about? What are we doing? So these are the things that we need
to contemplate on. The first group of people who would definitely make the
world a better place would be children. So Dr. Montessori started her work with
children. As age progressed, the early sowing of peace right from the very
beginning gave them a longitudinal grasp of life towards adolescence, when it
is supposed to be turbulent and when children are not in good terms with. They
are looking at life differently; they are looking at identity. People think that
they will be so much ill at ease and not at peace. But on the contrary when
they followed a philosophy based education something that made sense to the
inherent grand potential of the human being which always sort learning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are different philosophies
that education adopts. But the point is to adopt a philosophy and look at the
philosophy in the education that is being offered to the child. Where there is
a philosophical base to education rather than standardized testing as the basis
of education there is hope. Because there is a human side to it. There is a
philosophical state of mind that looks at education. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are inherent questions that
children ask. Why should I study it? What does it mean to use what I’m studying
now later on in life? But imagine a condition where they are seeking actively
and also finding answers. The point is not to get adults to give them answers
all the time. Look at the empowerment that will happen if the children are able
to find those answers given an environment that allows exploration in a
meaningful way. So this is what the need to start from very early stages of
life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Conscious parenting brings about
a peace in the home environment so that the child rests on that peace. By
default the child seeks peace and it is not by escaping or attacking rather it
is in a state of being. This is something that adults need to ponder over. We
all need to find ways and means in which we are able to touch our inner peace
through a journey which needs to start very early. Our whole life is much more
within our frame work of thinking and not having many factors that disturb it
only when you are able to find your inner peace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do you agree with the idea of
peace? If yes why? If not, why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do you agree with what Dr.
Montessori calls as inner peace? If yes why? If not, why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What peace initiatives do you
think we can take?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Are you interested to know more
about Peace in Education?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are interested to hear from you.</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09502733591733271254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525840403640751690.post-88328538655231866882018-01-15T18:37:00.000-08:002018-01-15T23:07:13.974-08:00Discussion with Parents on ‘Rewards and Punishments’ held at Jamunamarathur<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">A parents meeting was held on 27 Nov, 2017 at
Jamunamarathur. The topic was about rewards and punishments. There were about
10 parents representing 12 children, which included siblings of some of them
also.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The meeting started with a small discussion in tamil
about what it means to neglect the children and what it means to manage them.
An article written by Ms. Maden smith, which was translated into tamil by one
of our staff members was read out. The words were discussed point by point and
simple examples have been given for parents to understand. That paved the way
to the later discussion on rewards and punishment.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The discussion on “Reward and Punishments” was
started with Mr.Murali Krishnan and Mr.Hari playing a role play. One of them acted
as an adult and the other as a child. Five scenarios of how children can be
handled by adults in various situations were acted on by both the members. The
following were the five scenarios:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB">When a child makes a mistake, the
adult scolds the child and completely stop the child from using a particular
thing for no reason at all.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB">When a child makes a mistake, the
adult tells the child little bit patiently but firmly that if the child wants
to use that material again in future, the child must contact the adult.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB">The child has done something
properly and the adult is trying to reward the child by giving a chocolate.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB">The adult showing the child how to
use a particular thing when the child makes a mistake and telling the child
that he/she can always come back to the adult in case of any doubts or
questions. Basically giving the confidence to the child to use it by himself or
herself.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-GB">The child has done something
properly and the adult don’t pay any attention to it and just watches what the
child is doing or how the child does. There was no reprimand, no reward, no
correction and nothing happens.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The scenarios were well received
by the parents. <span lang="EN-GB">They had a lot
of questions around it. The first question was about what it means reward and
what it means punishment.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Punishment is basically something that doesn’t
have a connection with the action. For example, the child drops something and
not scolding or beating the child but not allowing the child to use that
particular object is a punishment. In fact in some schools and several houses,
punishments are nowhere connected to the action at all.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">What is the consequence?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Consequence is something that is connected with
the action. You tell the child well in advance or when the action happens that the
child have done this and you are not going to do this to the child or the child
have broken this and you don’t think you can actually get the child something.
You can also tell the child well in advance that this is what going to happen
but it all depends on the child. For example, preparing a child for a field
trip outside and let’s say that there is a train or bus that is waiting and
needs to boarded at a particular time. Tell
the child that if the child delays and misses the train/bus and because of that
he/she has to miss the field trip. Now the child knows in advance that because
the child misses the train or the bus he/she cannot participate in the field
trip. So if missing the bus/train is the action, then missing the participation
in the field trip is the consequence. The action is connected to the
consequence. So the child takes full responsibility for the action and aware of
the consequence too. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The difference between the rewards and
punishment is completely given by an example of how in a school setup a child
may have to write an exam for a long period of time whereas question papers are
set by somebody with several restrictions like the time to answer, number of
words, number of question to attend etc. The child is being assessed in a
particular subject, based on how she/he performs and being rated with ranks and
grades where the child does not probably have an interest in that particular
subject. Should we consider that as a punishment? That was a question that was
post to the audience also.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Quite interesting that one of the parents came
up with a question saying that while the system that is being followed at
Cascade Montessori rural centre at Jamunamarathur is quite different but
parents would need to get used to practice this at school. Murali Krishnan
answered to the question saying that we mostly stick to what we know or rather
how we were brought up. Since we were brought up under a traditional mode we
usually know how a school runs. We know that there are only 5 subjects History,
English, Mathematics, Language and Science whereas there are several other
options which we don’t try to explore and by us not knowing about something
doesn’t mean that there are no other options at all. He also talked about the
existence of NAOS where there are more than 40, 50 subjects as options that can
be chosen by a child and till 8<sup>th</sup> standard there are no exams. The
child can write his/her 10<sup>th</sup> std for 2 years, choosing one subject
at a time and finish it in 2 years’ time
successfully and the child doesn’t need to choose a subject if the child
doesn’t like it. So those options are available.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Murali krishnan also said that if u really
wanted to stick to the school curriculum, you have a choice to register your
protest if a child is beaten up or get scolded. You can tell them that they
have any rights to beat or scold your child and you can ensure that you will
find the root cause of the problem. No child actually deserves punishment in
the hands of anybody including the parents. This doesn’t mean that you cannot
correct a child, but the way in which you help the child to understand the
mistakes that have been made and the consequences is important.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Murali Krishnan gave an example of how, in a
Montessori environment there are several materials that are made up of
parceline, glass and clay which are brittle. If a child wants to carry such
material, the child has to handle it with care. If the child drops the
material, it’s going to break and when it is broken it’s not going to be used
anymore. That certainly touches the child because the result is immediate.
Whereas if the child drops a plastic, even if he/she drops it several times
that particular material is not going to break and the child is not going to
learn anything. For that child, the dropping is fun and in reality which is
not. Such tiny changes in the environment is going to make a lot of difference
in the minds of children to understand how to value material and what it means
consequence and how. In fact consequence in this case is completely connected
because when the child drops it, the material is going to be lost completely
forever and the child is not going to get back that material. That’s a
consequence and the consequence is connected. So that’s the way in which the
child actually comes to know about it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">There will be quarrels, there will be issues,
in an environment but the way in which you deal with it makes a lot of
difference. By giving rewards for correct behavior, what are we trying to
communicate to a child. The child was not expecting a reward and was happy
about what she/he was doing. So that’s why we don’t have any grading or any
kind of assessment in our environment. This was communicated to the parent
also. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">When the child grows up, let’s say the child
brings you a glass of water and then you give a chocolate saying “Oh my god! Lovely
child! You gave me a glass of water. Thank you so much”. So in front of a
child, you are equating one glass of water for a chocolate, which is no way
connected at all. What does the child think, so if I bring a glass of water, it
can be a father or mother or whoever it is, that person will give me a
chocolate. So next time let me bring. If the next time you are not going to
give the child a chocolate, that’s going to demotivate the child. The child might
think that he gave me last time why isn’t he giving me this time. Have I made a
mistake or should I do more? So the child itself create a pressure. If the
child is not interested in chocolate at all and you go and ask that child to
bring a glass of water, the child refuses to bring a glass of water. What do
you say? you actually scold the child by saying that so will you do it only if
I give you chocolate. Who connected the chocolate with the glass of water, it’s
only the adult, us. Whereas had you stopped and then just said thank you for
bringing a glass of water where in you appreciate the action and not the child.
The child is going to understand that you are thankful for the action and the
action by itself is reward for the child. That’s how we connect it. When the
child grows up and thinks that for every action there needs to be a reward,
then obviously what is that even after the growing up, he/she will seek award
even when he/she is a teenager or a college student.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">These were the questions that were discussed in
detail. Parents were also able to comment about the actions that were performed
by the adults by pointing out what was correct and what was not correct and how
it should have been done. Which was an eye opener even for Murali Krishnan and
Hari. Because they were able to immediately understand what was wrong. Of
course they had some difficulty in understanding the rewards and consequences
because some of the parents were actually justifying it by saying that by
giving a reward to a children we are motivating a child but in reality we
don’t. That was communicated to the parent.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The meeting concluded by saying that the topic
was very vast and what was covered during that one hour time was very less. So
they were requested to come back to the adults in the environments, in case if
they have any questions about rewards and punishment.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The experience of conducting such a parents
meeting is that it doesn’t really make much of a difference whether the parents
are from a rural or urban background, the parents are curious about providing
the best of education to their children. They come forward to learn and
understand what it means to bring up the children that shows the curiosity and
interest. So all they need is access to the right information<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 107%;">Relief Foundation is very proud that it is able
to take this information to rural audience though it started to work with urban
parents through the Cascade family learning society at Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai.
So by spreading this Montessori parenting to rural areas we are 100% sure that
we are making a revolutionary impact in the minds of these parents who will
turn up to become responsible parents in bringing up their children and those
children when they grow up they will in turn become responsible adults. So we
are 100% sure about it.</span></div>
</div>
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